Searching for my last blog post by Google made me find highly entertaining stuff. The fact that I find it entertaining probably makes me a libertarian. What is it?

First, the Seasteading Project. They’re going to populate the ocean in international waters, i.e. founding new states as laboratories for new kinds of societies. It’s not just utopia … they’re building it!

Second, the Free State Project. It’s the call for 20,000 libertarian people to register for moving to New Hampshire (U.S. east coast state), in order to sort of “democratically revolutionize” that state. Today, they have 8973 people who committed to move over to NH within five years of reaching the 20,000th registration.

Libertarians criticize the current political systems, including democracies. I found this ingenious quote on the Seasteading website:

Specifically, it [pointing out utopias] will not make a system act differently than its nature and the incentives it provides to the people who participate in it. And just as this dictates that centrally managed economies will be slow and lack innovation, it dictates that modern democracies will have highly parasitic governments, because we are too rich for it to be worth fighting and too tied to our homes to run away.

Being honest to myself, my expedition vehicle project is just that: running away from here. I love liberty, and think that I’m gonna find more of that if I’m not tied closely to any state, society or economy like I’m now tied to. Instead of seasteading, isle-planting or a free state project, I’m simply gonna move between states to where the most liberty is (or the most pressing task, that depends).

Happy to have found out one more reason for my strange thinkstyle / lifestyle! Hey, I understand myself somewhat better! Think it’s worth going to bed now …

Regarding my job, I’ve a strong feeling that prohibits me from doing work that deems senseless to me. (It’s not that I don’t need to do such things just for the money, but it’s a torture.)

The problem is, now, that mine and the market’s opinions what is meaningful to do deviate widely. It’s easy to recognize what the market thinks is meaningful: everything the market will pay for. This includes, among other stuff, ugly sunglasses for 560 USD. And the foil coating of police bus windows, while in other countries they have no working police at all.

In my opinion, the market is constantly in error. If it would be up to me to decide what’s meaningful, I would include:

  • basic stuff, of course: nutrition, health care, accomodation etc.
  • Many more UNU (United Nations University) research projects.
  • Heavy reasearch for an AIDS treatment.
  • Heavy research for a malaria treatment.
  • research on what is the true theology

Then, it would also be easy for me to find a meaningful job. But now …

P.S.: I should add my definition of “meaningful”: meaningful is what makes the world a better place to live. (And, adding from a Christian perspectiv: “Where world includes this and the next world.”)

There are times where it’s sooo obvious that this world was originally created by a good God! I’m in such a time these very days, feeling very blessed and grateful … or, more concretely:

  1. There’s a really really cool Jesus Freaks congregation in my town, hey, and I’m becoming part of it 😉
  2. My vision of a mobile, compact and flexible life finally unfolds somewhat, as I got this cool 4WD truck to live in today.
  3. The job I’m currently doing is way cool (Java programming by teleworking as a freelancer). I complained about that job: boring, no social contacts, it’s difficult to motivate myself to start working. But today I compared it to jobs of people I know: warehousing for a temporary employment agency, for way-too-low wages and 10-11 hrs/d and 6d/week. And … man, what a blessing my job is.
  4. These people in the Jesus Freaks house group that I joined make me hungry to get more from Jesus and more like Jesus.

Now I’ll elaborate the last point, as I’m currently “flashed” by these people 🙂 (just before came from the house group, then started blogging …).

Those who know me or my writings know my critical in-depth analyses, and how they paralysed at times the drive to be faithful to God. Which is because I met few motivating paragons: analysing people critically challenges the truth of their beliefs, and analysing people in-depth challenges the purity of their zeal. Those who withstood the test didn’t make up a critical mass to ignite me with Jesus zeal (esp. not due to the dissipation of my former congregation, a Calvary Chapel church … because you know, critical mass needs compactness to uphold the chain reaction). It seems that I’ve found that critical mass in this Jesus Freaks house group that I’m visiting for some weeks now 🙂

When admiring people, it’s rewarding to observe why exactly you’re admiring. In this case it’s because they are, in character, to some degree like Jesus … or, more concretely:

  1. Spiritually intense. They can be funny and silly, but it’s amazing how intense and involved they are when discussing spiritual things. Today we had to discuss the topic “Jesus and women”, and in the serious, spiritual parts of the evening there was nearly no trace of childish foolery that’s so common among young adults when discussing cross-gender relationship stuff.
  2. Intelligent wording. It’s amazing how mature and intelligent they argue, also those who are quite young (doing their A-level exams or studying for 3 semesters, e.g.). I can comprehend their thoughts, but I could not generate them as I think in a different style. That’s really an enrichment! Especially, when people nit just think differently, but are also able to verbalize their thoughts … clean verbalization of their emotional thinking is somewhat rare among women, but commonplace in this house group. Wow!
  3. Open-mindedness. It’s so refreshing to have a homogenous group of open-minded people, without the tradition of Christian fundamentalist style of thinking. Where open-minded means: allowing oneself to think experimentally, touching new areas and latent solutions; and it means broad-mindedmess: being able to form one enjoyable group even though theologic opinions differ widely. Jesus is Savior and Lord … and everything else is fun to discuss. Of course open-mindedness is also dangerous (and I could give examples from the group), but narrow-minded fundamentalism is not less dangerous just because it is static and nothing will or is allowed to happen.
  4. Blushless talking. At first, their prosaic, brute honesty in the familiar atmosphere of this house group bewildered me. There’s seemingly no taboo, you can talk about everythink everytime. Just take care that you talk about averything as being “just as normal as everything else”. (I think that’s because high-levelled emotionality, secretiveness and shame are not results of taboos, they create taboos by people better avoiding these topics in the future.) On the few (~5) evenings I met the group, they talked about a range of topics which would be termed taboo by many Christians: sex before marriage, libidinous thinking, woman’s beauty mania, lesbian relationships, masturbation, having a boy-friend who’s no Christian, being hurt emotionally by an ex-boyfriend, the precious special attributes of the relationship between a female Christian and a male Jesus. And much more, and more to come.

Now of course also this group is far from being perfect. But Jesus teaches them, and they learn. And I hope not to be an inhibitor to the upcoming chain reaction … .

Today, I created a mess of my evening by missing the right time to leave for church. Sigh … I was quite enthusiastic to go there! It’s a Jesus Freaks group, and I joined it just recently (2008-10-19), as my former church … umh, say, ceased to exist. Ok, now that I missed the meeting, I need to do something nice as well. Let’s play somewhat with this great free mindmapping tool and then publish an update to my life’s mindmap … .

So here it goes. Click on the image to magnify.

Some notes, as the last version was published already some months ago and some stuff changed.

  • The Xpedition.This is a composite that contains all things related to my life vision, formerly distrubuted all around. Namely the following projects:
    • “Second Acts” (experiencing God’s truth)
    • “A Seeker’s Guide to Life” (understanding about practical living with God)
    • “Personal Life Development” (learing about practical living with God)
    • Xpedition Community (my intended mobile power community … though I have to admit that my motivation for that is currently near zero, as I have not yet experienced any working example or seen a way to found it)
  • Task management included. Since the end of 2008-10, I use freemind instead of KOrganizer for task management. And I need to say, I don’t regret the migration. After you’ve found the best ways to handle and store tasks (which takes some weeks of practice), you’ll find that a mindmapping tool is far more flexible for task management. For example, you can easily add all your task-related notes to the task you’re currently processing.
  • Journaling included. This is some sort of archiving important information about my life, to learn from it. Blogging is a part of that (see “blog post journal”, though I’m using mindmap for drafting the posts only, not yet for storing them locally).

Overall, it’s interesting how long it takes until you arrive at a clear and functional digital representation of your life 🙂 I’m quite satisfied with the current state, as I can access all tasks, task ideas, project notes and journal entries with just a few clicks from the mindmap above. But I was satisfied several times, months ago, and in a few months, things will be even more clear, which I cannot even imagine now.

Here’s a difficult question: is a man allowed in blogosphere to state that he admires a certain woman? I mean not any actor or pop star, but a real girl from real life. And by admiration I mean not “desire”, but primarily admiration as a character, admiration of lifestyle, admiration as personality. Now it’s uttered from a man and regards a woman, so this sets up a context (willingly or not) which makes public announcement in the Internet problematic. At least I read no blog post that contained such a statement. It might be a taboo in the blogosphere.

But, I’ll approach the taboo here and see how to handle it … of course this means, mention no names, no hints and no sources. My intent is here that it might be of worth to collect admirable attributes of persons of the other sex. No further concrete action is implied on my side (so don’t bother if you appear once in the admiration series …), it’s just reflecting upon what I admire in women and what not.

Well then, you wonder what that picture may mean. Today, I read the blog of a blog acquaintance of mine, and there was a description of a young woman with a totally crazy kind of journey. She arrived at a certain community by travelling on a monkey donkey!! Yes indeed, that woman was travelling weeks long by monkey donkey! That’s so awfully creative & crazy that I had to laugh out like rarely before due to a blog post. What an idea, never heard of anybody doing something like that. I know little about her background and why she did that whole thing … what I admire is simply the strength of character that’s evident in that action. She’s following her idea, doing her journey the way she wants it, though people will surely think she’s crazed off. That kinda character is way too rarely found among women. (Which I say because I’m dealing with woman character in this post. It’s way too rare among men, too. Of course. Who’d question that.)

There is an ongoing discussion regarding the causes of personality disorders (according to the Wikipedia article on personality disorders). Depth psychology emphasizes childhood as the key area, psychotherapy emphasizes adolescence and the identity buildup phase, learning models and behaviorists emphasize that personality disorders are something learned. Globally, they are rather complimentary and support each other well, so that the overall impression (without any detailed knowledge) is that personality disorders develop from a complex interdependency of genetic loading and the environment.

I thought about what (simple) illustration to use for such a complex situation, and perhaps the following might serve well for some aspects: there is a solution of a substance that can crystallize. It does not crystallize however unless crystallization seed is there (e.g. some dust particles). Now I compare the crystallization seed with the genetic loading, and the solved substance with problematic aspects of the environment. The environment has, so to speak, the potential to create personality disorders in a limited number of people, by unloading its problematic aspects unto them. The people that get “struck” by the crystallizing substance are those with some genetic qualities (for example less stress resistance, which would, in a healthy world, be just a harmless side-effect of appreciable qualities like high-degree empathy). In terms of system-theory, the different
kinds of personality disorders seem to me the different self-supporting, self-stabililizing programs that are possible to run on the human brain (within a specific social environment).

The interesting thing is now: to a higher or lesser degree, every (or nearly every) person seems to have a personality disorder. If you don’t yet believe that, go through the
list in the Wikipedia article on personality disorders and find out what symptoms fit for you. At least I found myself in this list … (ICD-10 F60.6) and also friends of mine. Now this does not mean that I or any of my readers needs a therapy … the degree might be far lower than what would need a therapy (note that a society assigns therapy only to those that cannot contribute to the society in a meaningful degree any more … society does not want to help you, it wants you as a tool for its own survival). It does however mean that most people don’t reach their highest personal and social potential because they’re in the grip of their rigid, dysfunctional behavior patterns.

Now it is also clear that healthy social relationships and groups have a curative effect on the personality disorders of their members (at least on mild degrees of those). And I count the relationship to God among the healthy relationships, and a healthy church among the healthy groups (which just means that their curative effect is supposedly a social effect, nothing supernatural). There are persons in my mind who indeed got (nearly) healed by long-term (~25 yrs., in one example) involvement with God and a healthy church!! Which does not mean that every relationship to God or every church is such a place. Most churches seem to be infected themselves by some kind of “group disorder”. Which is not the fault of any single person, but a fixed behavioral pattern that develops in a likewise complex interdependency (in this case, of group attributes and environment) as the personality orders do … .

There’s all this hype going on about the “web 2.0”, which is “social Internet”. So how about the version 2.0 update of myself: the social me. It’s long overdue, I suppose. I envision myself to approach my fellow humans directly, audaciously, furiously, and at the same time lovingly, warmly, and heartily. That’s quite the opposite of the current state, the vision of the Different Me … (more Jesus-like, I suppose).

But updating is often a difficult process – at least with computer programs, and with humans also, I suppose. I’ll mention here to things that should belong to this process, taken from my notes on “Personal Life Development”:

Have community by phone calls. Discuss relevant issues for personal life development, and create blog posts from the results.

Have a good conversation every day (>40min), esp. about spiritual and life-practical issues. This should enable a delightful lifestyle independent of what the rest of the day is filled with.

One of the first concrete actions that was coherent with this notes was to go for lunch with a neighbour of mine. Now, we could’ve had an open, honest , helpful conversation as many times before. But I think this time it was my fault that this was not really the case … . Without justifying me, I think that there are causes for my current difficulties: the last three weeks I worked in Frankfurt, and most (not all) conversations with my colleagues had been on a shallow level. We worked on things, so we discussed things. Sometimes my mind wanted to break free from being captured in such a way, but when I was tired from the work I was too tired to even think about something different. When Anna Eleanor Roosevelt said “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”, she missed to mention those who discuss just things … .

So I got acclimatized to small talk, and now I’m reluctant to get honest and open again in conversation, even where I have the opportunity. What a pity! Seems like I will need some more exercise to undo the acclimatization … . Whom am I going to call up now? Let me see …

Note on a style change for my blog posts

As you may have notices, this blog post is shorter, less elaborate and more personal than most of the previous. It shall be the start of a new variant how i use my blog: more in diary style to document and reflect daily events and developments (esp. of personality, as in this one). Such posts might be of worth to myself in the future, also, just as other people use their diary. Another reason is that I’m awfully tired to write sophisticated, highly intellectual posts for many people, of whom most will never read them. (You can see my tiredness from the fact that August 2008 has seen no blog posts at all.) All this thinking had no life-changing effect until now, which esp. means that I did not get to know God better in deed (instead of in speculation). So I’m trying to exchange thinking for action now … .