I’m right now in the “lucky” situation of getting paid by a customer, for some programming I did for them in the last months and weeks. The invoice is slightly overdue, but at least the money is coming (it’s needed over here …). In my experience as a year-long self-employed, it’s not clear if and when customers will be able to pay the invoices you write. The bigger the invoice, the more insecure … .
And every time when I’m waiting for some bigger invoice to be paid, I’m thinking about what it means that God will “supply” for us. First, he promised to supply for the basic needs of those who “care foremost for His kingdom and His righteousness” (Mt 5:33 I think). I’m stumbling already here: I’m not sure if I fulfill the prerequisites. Do I care for God’s kingdom? Foremost?
Second thing is, God and us spoilt Westerners seem to have different definitions of what are the basic needs that are mentioned in Mt 5:33. Jesus mentions food, drinking and clothing there. Which means, we are in God’s supply if we need to live from Hartz IV. Sounds strange? This just happened to somebody from my Jesus Freaks homegroup, who, after his studies of theology, lived for some time on Hartz IV (before getting a job via a temporary employment agency, and making progress there).
Now, I find this option problematic. Because, no, I don’t want to live from Harty IV. It’s not because I’d be poor then … I did live and can live on even much less (330 EUR a month pure net income) without feeling bad. It’s because I’m too proud not to earn my own money, and, even more important, because I want to retain my freedom. I simply don’t want officials or a “chef” to tell me what meaningless job to do for them, where to be when etc..
The result: Because of our different definitions of “basic needs”, it can happen that I feel uncared for while being fully supplies by God with the things I need. That’s indeed a problem. And I think not just mine, but ours.